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Impressions before reading: Device Heretic is (was, I guess) a solid enough writer, and I've enjoyed other stories of his. I also like the succinct, arresting description ("Nightmare Moon visits Twilight in the night, and things get biblical."); selling a story in only one sentence is tough, but there's good synergy here between the single-sentence cover and the title itself.
Zero-ish spoiler summary: Nightmare Moon, no longer tied to Luna, visits Twilight in her dreams. There, she makes a series of very enticing offers, and asks nothing in return...
Thoughts after reading: In a lot of ways, that zero-spoiler summary tells you what you need to know about this fic. It doesn't really go any unexpected or unobvious (inobvious? Apparently they're both "nonstandard, but in use," which doesn't help me pick! (and heaven forbid I just say "not obvious" and sidestep the whole thing, right?)) places, but it covers its chosen territory very competently.
The writing quality is similar to what I've previously seen from Device Heretic--technically strong, but prone to meandering, and a bit heavy on repetitive adjectives. This style, while perhaps not for everyone, does suit the story being told well, giving a grandiose air to the dreamscape in which the larger part of the action takes place. Additionally, that grandiosity reinforces the weight of Twilight's temptation, and helps sell her guilt (and generally, her actions) in the latter part of the fic.
The main "problem" with this story, such as it is, is that it doesn't really do anything. That is to say, the temptations NMM offers are stock, standard "poison chalice" offerings (albeit, framed in a way appropriate to Twilight specifically, rather than simply dropped in with no Equestrianizing moorings). Immortality, knowledge, even intimate desires are all brought up, given the story-standard rejections, and moved on from, in ways that are entirely predictable and have been done many times before. It's not that these are particularly poorly executed, again (though the quick glossing through of the arguments against accepting suggest that the author assumed readers would be familiar with the relevant counter-arguments, and would need no more than a summary, as opposed to a full exploration of, say, the implications of being capable of dispensing immortality)--it's just that there's little here beyond the concepts themselves, albeit wrapped in a pleasantly readable bit of dialogue.
The lengthy ending was, I felt while reading, a misstep; after Twilight awakens, there's still some 3000-odd words to go in this story. But I'll give the author credit for tying everything together at the end with a literary quote that nicely framed the story, and created a bookend I wasn't even expecting. That said, I still felt like the level of talking-through of the preceding events was unnecessary, but a lengthy denouement is, by my accounting, a fairly minor flaw. At least, it is when that denouement has some intrinsic interest, and that's the case here.
You've seen all the "rewards" on offer here in other literature and media, I'm sure, and the story doesn't do much with them beside toss them out and let Twilight twist with them a bit. But there's still an undeniable satisfaction to seeing the trap laid bare.
Recommendation: If you think seeing Twilight scarred by having to reject the things she most wants sounds engaging, this will almost certainly deliver what you're looking for, in a form that's familiar precisely because it works. It's probably not a great choice for readers looking for more than cursory explorations of those temptations, though, nor for those looking for a lot of surprises.
Next time: Light the Sky On Fire, by EquesTRON