By today, I should already be in Arizona, for my annual trip to visit family at exactly the wrong time of year to visit Arizona. Man, we need to plan these things better.
Luckily for you all, that doesn't mean a two-week hiatus for the blog! I've got five great posts lined up, and it's a nice mix of material; we've got a fanfic review, we've got some writing advice, and we've got some thoughts on how to analyze and talk about fiction. Having already read through everything, I can tell you all firsthand that there's some really exciting stuff coming up, starting on Wednesday.
And of course, vacation isn't just a time for playing cards and sipping scotch; it's also a great time to get some reading done. In the past, I've used a couple of "free" weeks to tackle some fanfic behemoth or other, and this year's no exception: while I'm gone, I'll be ploughing through Chengar Qordath's The Life and Times of a Winning Pony, which is one of the most-requested stories for me to review. Making time to read over 350,000 words is usually a challenge, but hey; that's just a bit over half of Fallout: Equestria, which I read on my first blog-vacation. Expect to see the review when I return!
But for now, everyone play nice while I'm gone. I've got a smartphone, so I should be able to check in on things while I'm gone, but I've also got dumb thumbs, so don't expect to hear from me unless something goes spectacularly wrong. Besides, what's the point of a vacation where you aren't getting away from it all? So with that said...
See you all on the 24th!
Oh boy, I'm super excited for this one. I wonder what kind of extremely talented, clever, and handsome guest writers Chris has lined up this time? We can only speculate. Such suspense.
ReplyDeleteIs it you? Is it... is.... It's you, isn't it?
DeleteWhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? That's craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! I deny everything. You cannot prove a thing.
DeleteOkay man. Whatever. I'm just saiyin' it sounds kind of like it's you, but whatever! It doesn't have to be! It could be anyone. I get it. Lots of people could be clever and handsome. Doesn't have to be you, but I'm just sayin'. If it were me then that's probably what I would say, but that's just my opinion, you know? Let the dice fall as they may, amiright? Haha! I'm just sayin' though... I'm just sayin'.
DeleteSo you're saying you think Danny is clever and handsome?
DeletePsst... Danny... I think he likes you...
You know, I have heard that the guest columnists are rather handsome and dashing individuals. I don't think Chris would have picked them otherwise. The columns are likely to contain no text, though, just a picture of the author.
DeleteTake those shipping goggles off, Professor! They're for employee use only. Also if you pay close attention, you would see that I'm actually calling myself clever and handsome, albeit in a roundabout way. Not to put down DannyJ or anything. I mean, if Pascoite is right about Chris's selection process, he would have to be handsome just to make the cut.
DeletePoint being, there's been a lot of talk about what people look like in the last couple blog posts, and I think in order to resolve things, everyone should describe what they look like via a detective noir inner monologue. It's the only logical solution.
I would describe what I look like, but then people would know what I look like, so I'm not gonna do that.
DeleteIf people know what you look like after a detective noir description then you're not doing it right. At most they would know what abstract object you most similarly resemble as well as possibly a color. Here, I will give an example to demonstrate!
DeleteI looked into the mirror. Cracked and crooked. It was no mistake. I left it like that on purpose to remind me of where I'd been; remind me somethin' fierce. Wasn't no man staring back at me through that dirty piece of glass either. Looked like a grackle that'd been caught up in a hurricane. Patches of feathers, all askew. Eyes like potholes in a dirt road after a heavy rain. Grackle with a hat. If there's one thing I knew about that old bird, it was that he wouldn't be writing guest blogs anytime soon. Not by a long shot.
I added dramatic story bits for flavor, but you get the idea. It's fun! Make up stupid crap! Impress your friends! Intimidate your enemies! Order NOOOOW!