For a Change, Let's Talk About Actual Books (Part 23)

Been a while since I did one of these!  Let's take a quick time-out from all that yabber about ponyfic and instead talk about reading material of the sort that normies don't arch their eyebrows at!  Head down below the break for a quick peek at the books I'm currently in the process of reading, and what I think of them to whatever point I'm at in them.

Mini-Reviews Round 195

I got a nice surprise yesterday when one of my friends who lives on the other side of the country showed up here in town!  I knew he was moving back at some point, but he managed to surprise me nonetheless; it was good to see him again, and now it won't even have to be a couple-of-times-a-year thing like it's been for the past decade!

And, him being him, it didn't take ten minutes before he'd asked when our next D&D session would be.  Some things never change, but luckily they're mostly good things.

Speaking of good things, here're some fanfic reviews!  Check them out, below.

Fandom Classics Part 223: Vanilla Twilight

To read the story, click the image or follow this link.

My little sister is visiting this week!  Should be fun times; her only precondition for coming by for a few days was that I had to buy her cheese curds at the county fair.  That seems eminently reasonable to me, insofar as cheese curds are delicious and I was going to be buying them for myself anyway; why not get a bunch, and pretend that she's going to eat all the extra?

Also, review below.

Mini-Reviews Round 194

I have not been treating my body well the last few days.  Between the staying up late to watch the WSOP, and getting up early to watch the Tour de France (cool British guy lost and boring British guy won, respectively), I probably averaged only four or five hours of sleep a night the last few days.  It's left me thoroughly zombified, and trying to catch a nap or two just seems to make it worse.  Man, I'm pretty sure I didn't used to get this drained from a few days of insufficient shut-eye back when I was in college, and that was only... oh damn, I am getting old, aren't I?

Well, my productivity may have been shot in most other areas of my life, but I still got a couple of mini-reviews out, at least!  Good to know I have my priorities straight.  Go check 'em out below.

Fandom Classics Part 222: Savage

To read the story, click the image or follow this link.

You know what kills me every time I try to get back into online poker?  People who go all-in on the first hand of a tournament.  And if nobody calls them, they just do it again next round, until eventually somebody's doubled (tripled, quadrupled...) up, and the rest of us finally get to play--with a massive chip disadvantage.  It's no fun, dangit!

What will hopefully be more fun?  My review of Ese Way's Savage.  Get it below!

I Changed My Mind and Wrote That ASoIaF Fanfic I Threatened To On Monday, But Instead I Made It an MLP Trollfic And I'm Inflicting It On You All Because There's No Way I'm Going To Sully FiMFiction With Something Like This

I think the title is pretty self-explanatory.  Head below the break, if you're in the market for a trollfic.  And if you're not, here's your fair warning.

Mini-Reviews Round 193

I watched the premier of the new season of Game of Thrones just a few hours before this post was gonna go up, and I gotta say... for all that the visuals and music are still absolutely top-tier (and they are!  They're almost entirely why I'm still watching at this point!), the show is really striking out on characterization, tone, pacing, and basically everything that's not the music and visuals.  I mean, Euron is straight-up Jack Sparrow at this point, you know?  Sam somehow got stuck in a gross-out comedy flick that's being intercut with the rest of the show.  Nobody seems to care--or even notice!--that Sansa is the rightful Warden of the North.

Honestly, it's enough to make me glad that they killed off Stannis two years ago; he may be my favorite major character in the books (sidebar: my favorite minor characters are Damphair, Patchface, and Hodor; if I ever write an ASoIaF fanfic, it will be about those three traveling Westeros, and every time they encounter anyone or anything, Damphair will say something gloomy and portentous, Patchface will start singing a vaguely foreboding nonsense rhyme about it, and Hodor will say "Hodor."  About every.  Single.  Thing.), but it's kind of nice to know that the show can't miss the point with him any more.

Now!  Ponyfic!  Below!

Fandom Classics Part 221: Two Peas in a Pod

To read the story, click the image or follow this link.

If you like reading in-detail, stream-of-consciousness reviews, be ye advised that PresentPerfect has finally finished his six-part review of Project: Horizons.  According to the google doc I just pasted it into out of morbid curiosity, his review runs a whopping 44,193 words.  Normally this would be a case where I'd say something like "frankly, you're better off just reading the story and deciding for yourself," but given that the fic in question is 1.7 million words, a short novel about it is still a significant potential timesaver.  Plus, PP's irreverent summarizing is really funny in its own right (plus plus, he curses like a wounded pirate and/or 14 year-old Call of Duty player).

Or you could just read my review of it.  It's only 3311 words, which I believe means that it's over 13 times better :B  And if even that's too many words for you, try my significantly shorter review of Blueshift's Two Peas in a Pod, below the break.

Mini-Reviews Part 192

Hey, maybe one of you can solve a mystery for me: has someone or somewhere I don't know about promoted to my FiMFic account recently?  Because in the last few days, I've picked up several new followers, and had a bunch of my stories (i.e. it's not just one fic that's benefiting) added to different people's favorites folders.  I haven't published any new stories recently, so I'm at a loss as to what's going on.  Do you guys have any clues?

Let me know if you figure it out.  Otherwise, I'll just keep on doing what I do: reviewing fanfics!  Click down below the break for more.

HA HA, TIME FOR (YOU TO WRITE) GUEST POSTS!

If you've been around the OMPR block a few times, you know that it's summer, and you know what that means: I'm going on vacation!  Specifically, I'm going on vacation in about a month's time, and I'll be gone two weeks.  I'd like to be able to spend my vacation not worrying about this site, and while building up a small buffer is one thing, getting eight posts ahead (two weeks, plus the Monday and Friday on either side) is tough.  So, time for my annual call:

I'm looking for people to write guest columns which I can post on this site, about either writing, reviewing, ponies, or some combination thereof. Write something, let me share it, and wallow in the glory of being featured on a MLP fanfic review blog!

Interested?  Intrigued?  Just plain curious?  Get the details, below!

Fandom Classics Part 220: Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens

To read the story, click the image or follow this link.

Okay, all that show-talk was good and well, but now let's get back to my bread and butter: fanfic reviews!  Click down below the break for my take on Chatoyance's Friendship is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens.

In Which Chris Complains About an Episode. A Lot.

A few weeks ago, I said this about A Royal Problem:

Didn't like it. Actually, hated it. Not quite as much as I hated stuff like Bats!, or... actually, it might be my second-least-favorite episode, after Bats! I'd have to think about it, but that would require thinking about it, which I really would rather not do.

Apparently, not many of you were terribly thrilled that I'd mention my opinion without justifying it.  I've gotten comments and e-mails asking me to talk about the episode, multiple times from some people.  I've been had my failure to say more about the episode than "I hated it, I don't wanna talk about it" called "the lazy way out" and "unprofessional."

Well, fine.  Let's talk about A Royal Problem.  Let's go through all the reasons I didn't like it.  If you come here for fanfiction reviews, go ahead and close your browser now, and come back on Friday; otherwise, below the break is a whole bunch of bellyaching.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 21st

Hope you're all enjoying some cycling goodness!  It's Tour de France season, and I'll probably (definitely) update you if Voeckler does anything exciting in this, his final Grand Tour.  Sadly, I'm pretty sure Mystic was the only other person in my circle of ever-so-marginal influence who cared one bit about pro cycling, but you all are just going to have to suffer my sports interests anyway.  Mwa-ha-ha!

Or, you know, you could skip this blurby bit on my posts.  But why would you want to do that?  In any case, I'm done blurbing at you now.  Head down below the break for my thoughts on some first sentences from past Fandom Classics!