Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Fandom Classics Part 42: What's Eating Rainbow Dash?

To read the story, click the image or follow this link

Ah, spring! That magical time of year, full of whimsy, frolicking, and basement-flooding. Actually, mostly just that last one; when you're laying down towels every few hours, it tends to dampen the mood too much for the first two. But hey, at least it's towels and not buckets, right?

Somber's What's Eating Rainbow Dash?, reviewed below the break, as always.



Impressions before reading:  I read this when it first went up on EqD--just a few days after the episode that inspired it, The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well.  I enjoyed reading it... but it was mostly a vicious pleasure, a "take that" against an episode I particularly disliked.  It'll be interesting to see how that holds up a few years later.

Zero-ish spoiler summary:  After Twilight and her friends reveal to Dash that they were Mare-Do-Well, and that they'd become her in order to teach Dash a lesson about humility, everyone laughs it off and things go back to normal... right?

Thoughts after reading:  Let's talk about the concept of a "fix-fic:" it's a story that's written specifically to refute all or part of a piece of canon or fanon.  I've reviewed a couple a before; The Light in the Darkness is a fix-fic for Cupcakes, for example.  Generally, these kinds of stories get a pretty bad rap, especially when what they're "fixing" is canon; who is the author, readers tend to quite reasonably ask, to write a story all about how the show we all nominally enjoy is wrong?

But The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well is almost universally disliked among fans (a little Google searching turns up a few people who will admit to putting it on their "favorite episodes" list... but not many), for a variety of reasons which have been quite thoroughly discussed at this point.  What's Eating focuses on one of the perceived issues specifically: that Twilight and her friends go out of their way to ruin Dash's reputation and esteem in the name of a dubious-at-best moral.  How much you appreciate that angle will obviously depend on how much you agree with the author's assessment of the episode, but as someone who does basically agree with that assessment, I was pretty sympathetic to the narrative's purpose.

Unfortunately, there's not much here to recommend beyond that.  This story was rushed out in just a few days, in order to be shared the same week Mare-Do-Well premiered, and that haste shows; from homophone mix-ups to clunky, repetitious phrasing to the straight up missing words (especially distracting when it's a character's name, and without that name, it's not clear who's speaking), this story is clearly still in draft state.  Given the author's well-established writing competence, his "draft" is still perfectly readable, but there's a wide gap between "readable" and "enjoyable."

The plot, sadly, is also completely subsumed by the need to hammer home how awfully Dash was treated, and how thoughtlessly it was done.  The fic is literally nothing but Twilight going from friend to friend, slowly figuring out what a terrible person (pony) she's been.  That may be cathartic for some (and again, I'll cop to being one to whom it is), but it feels more like a screed than a narrative.  There are some nice bits regarding Dash's childhood here, but not enough to really do more than to establish, then hammer home, just how wrong her friends were to act the way they did.  And in the end, that's all this fic really has to offer.

Star rating:   (what does this mean?)

As a story, there really isn't much to recommend this; it's poorly written, poorly edited, and single-mindedly focused on redressing perceived wrongs.

Perhaps evaluating this as a story is the wrong way to go, here; "rant dressed up in an extended metaphor" might be a more appropriate description.  Be that as it may, I am trying to evaluate it as a story, though.  And as a story, it doesn't stand up very well.

Recommendation:  Despite its weaknesses, I'd be willing to recommend this to someone specifically seeking a cathartic release after seeing Mare-Do-Well and sharing the author's distaste for it.  For any broader audience, though, I'd suggest giving this a pass.

Next time:  Of Age, by Paleowriter

24 comments:

  1. >homophone mix-ups
    >distracting when its a character's name

    LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE AT THE GLASS HOUSE, CHRIS

    It's very hard to type "house" without typing "horse" instead. :| This fandom has ruined me.

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    1. You know, I really ought to subtitle this blog "Do as I say, not as I do."

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    2. Indeed. By the way, I love how you illustrated that by using a comma instead of a semicolon ;p

      Let me know if I'm getting too saucy today; I'll tone it back a bit

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    3. Wait, what? Both commas are correct and semicolons would be incorrect. Methinks you went one snark too far this time, Oaty.

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    4. "Do as I say; not as I do" would be incorrect? I had to teach myself, since they didn't really cover semicolons in school, so I'll take your word for it. Sorry, Chris. Would you forgive a victim of America's poor education system?

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    5. Here's the trick with semicolons: Except for usage in a complex list, you should be able to replace it with a period without making either resulting sentence incomplete. "Not as I do" isn't a valid sentence, so a semicolon wouldn't work.

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    6. Thanks, Pascoite. I actually already knew that trick, but somehow got it into my head that there were other situations which called for a semicolon and have been getting a little trigger happy with 'em for awhile

      My boss thought this was pretty funny when I told her, so I guess some good came out of this

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    7. Hey thanks Pascoite! As another victim of America's questionable education system, I never got a good grasp on how to use a semicolon, but that rule definitely helps!

      Word of the Day: Cop.
      ...Are you sure you're using that word correctly? Dictionary.com doesn't seem to turn up any definition that works in that sentence. And it's giving me a surprising amount of definitions.

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    8. You can also use semicolons in lists, if one or more of the listed items require commas and using the (normal) commas to separate list items could lead to confusion. That's not a use that comes up as much, but it might be what you're thinking of, Oats.

      As for you, Mr. Funk: I'm surprised Dictionary.com doesn't know that cop is also slang for admitting something, usually with the suggestion that it's something at least slightly embarrassing (like getting too worked up over a children's cartoon show. Now, fanfiction of that show, on the other hand...). Anyway, Macmillan has it, if you're looking for a citation.

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    9. No, that wasn't what I was thinking of. I am aware of that usage, and Pascoite actually mentioned it in his comment, but I'd been thinking semicolons could serve an additional function

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    10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    11. Think I've finally figured out whatever crazy-person logic I've been applying in my misuse of semicolons. As I'm sure everyone's noticed, I tend to play pretty loose with my sentences (at least in an informal context, like Internet comments), leaving out words I feel unnecessary. I'm gonna steal/re-write something from Augie to explain

      Original: "Blinking at him another second, Dash turned to Princess Luna, saw her smiling for maybe the third time since last fall when she'd accepted Dash's application to the Corps."

      If I'd come up with this scene myself, I'd think of it like this:

      1) "Blinking at him another second, Dash turned to Princess Luna.

      AND

      2) (She) saw her smiling for maybe the third time since last fall when she'd accepted Dash's application to the Corps."

      I'd then write it thusly: "Blinking at him another second, Dash turned to Princess Luna; saw her smiling for maybe the third time since last fall when she'd accepted Dash's application to the Corps."

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    12. Hey, that's Dr. Funk to you! ...Nah, I only wish. Still, being called Mr. Funk brightens my day! :D

      Macmillan, huh? Never heard of it. But it's nice to have other resources, so thanks!

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  2. How anyone could focus on pony ethics while Merriwether was busy messing with the tech level is beyond me. Besides, their actions were pretty normal for a cartoon, and not that bad. RD did most of the work

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    1. Uh...which is more integral to the series, the ethics or the tech level? Personally, I believe it's the former, but whatever floats your boat (as long as it's just a boat, and not a ship... ;) )

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    2. I was (mostly) kidding, but point taken. Here's the thing, though: I'm not a child or a parent*, so the morals of the show don't matter as much to me. I fell in love with Lauren's vision; not what the ponies teach kids. The tech level is part of that vision, so it bugs me when the show deviates from her standard

      *I am an older brother, so I do appreciate on some level that the show teaches valuable lessons, but I mostly just expect it to do better than most of the crap my sister watches (which is hardly a high bar)

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  3. It's true, this story does feel very rushed and unpolished. A quick edit or simple re-read could have fixed a number of errors that do interfere with the experience. I think, however, that my great dislike for the episode had always allowed my to gloss over these. It always felt as if Ms WIlliams got lazy, or simply didn't care about that episode. The message was basic enough, and I'm sure the target audience didn't mind it much, but I always felt 'if you're friend becomes boastful, publicly humiliate them back into place' to be a bit harsh. I don't know, maybe it's just my interpretation of Dash's character from Sonic Rainboom with her insecurities and name calling that clash most with this episode.
    Mare Do Well aside, the idea of her going to remedial flight school was neat, and I had never really asked myself before why it was that she was stuck on weather patrol for a podunk place like Ponyville. However, the part that really struck a chord with me was Rarity's exposition on the nature of self-doubt, which apart from being something I have always struggled with, again fits in with the characterization I saw in Sonic Rainboom.
    That aside, if it was not this fic that prompted Monday's tirade, then which was it I wonder... ;)

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    1. Man, it really has been a long time since I've seen this episode. I don't recall RD's friends doing anything I'd characterize so harshly. The worst thing I remember was them not talking to her about it first (and I could be wrong on that)

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    2. Yes, you're probably right. Upon re-watching the episode, Rainbow is depicted as rather boorish with her fame. As you point out, the worst I can say for the rest is that they never really talk to her about it (even after it's made plain that she is upset), until after she has alienated the town by trying to recapture fame. In any case, I still can't help but feel that I would be pretty pissed off if my friends were to pull a stunt like that and wait so long to jump out and yell "just kidding, but serves you right you braggart." I suppose its my own fault for relying on my gestalt of the episode rather than actually watching it and paying attention to what was going on :)

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    3. Oh, there's no question that Rainbow's being a boor (another reason the episode is widely disliked: Dash's boorishness is stretched so far that she's hardly recognizable as the same character from the other episodes), but that doesn't really change the fact that her friends have "reduce her to a laughingstock" as their plan A, which is just... just awful, really.

      And Monday's tirade wasn't aimed at (or even "inspired" by) any specific fic, let alone one I'd just read. I just had a rough week, and that's what came out. If you're looking for an example, though, I'm sure you won't have to search far through the "sad" tags before you find one.

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  4. I think I already said everything I had to say about MMDW and WERB in the Wings and Steel review comments.

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  5. I'm sorry. I wish I'd written a better story for you.

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    1. Hey, it's Somber! Your fic is bad, and you should feel bad... j/k. I quite enjoyed your story, and it's my fault that Chris even brought it up (hope you don't mind too trerribly). I do, however, wonder if you have other works posted somewhere, as I have not found you on FimFiction.

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    2. @Arg

      At least on the pony end of things (can't speak to any other output he has!) Somber's also written several other fanfics, which you can find on EqD

      @Somber: If it takes the sting out of it at all, this story did take some of the sour taste out of my mouth which that episode left; if that was your goal, I'd say it worked.. and that's not nothing.

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