First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 26th

Following up on the 25th installments "look at an author's oldest and most recent ponyfic" theme, here's a continuation with a few more high-output long-timers!  Head down below the break to see how the first sentence they ever inflicted on put before the ponyfic public compares to their latest works.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 25th

As I sometimes do, I thought I'd switch things up with the first sentences section a bit: today, I'll be looking at some talented/prolific authors in the fandom (both aspects are important, for reasons that will quickly become clear) and compare the first sentence of their earliest published work with the first sentence of their most recently published one.  It's often easy to see noticeable improvement with fanfic authors from early to later works; now let's see if that holds up when one judges a fic by just its first few words!  And since the learning experience is what we're hoping to see in action here, I'll try to pick still-active authors who've been around a while.  Now, head below for some comparisons.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 24th

So, you remember a while ago when I plugged my participation in the Alicorn Amulet Collab?  You know, encouraging you all to go read my Carrot Top chapter (because of course Chris wrote the Carrot Top chapter...), and also the others?

Well, if you didn't listen to me then, or if you did but then stopped keeping up with the updates, the collab has posted its final chapter.  Go check the whole thing out; there's some good stuff in there.

I had intended to comment on all the chapters as they were posted, but I fell behind, felt weird about commenting on chapter six when chapter nine was already posted, and long story short, I didn't.  But, since every chapter is mostly self-contained and has a different author, I thought, "What if, now that they're all posted, I did a blog post looking at the opening of every chapter?"

So I did.  Head below the break to see what I think of how everybody handled their hooks!

(Oh, and for the record: my opening was "Although she knew it was silly, Carrot Top couldn’t help but flinch when the door to the waiting room opened. She’d flinched when the princesses had come in the first time to explain the setup of the testing room and reassure the half-dozen ponies who’d volunteered with a thorough listing the safety procedures in place; she’d flinched when Twilight had popped her head in to let them know that they’d start in just a few minutes; and now, she flinched again as Twilight trotted back into the room."  Make of that what you will.)

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 24th

While watching football yesterday, I started thinking about the word "scrimmage."  It's a weird-sounding word when you think about it, isn't it?  It doesn't roll cleanly off the tongue; the scr- beginning pulls your tongue back, but unlike with a word like "scrap," where that pullback is followed by a comfortable jaw-drop, it follows it up with another tight vowel with the tongue hurrying back to the front, then a closed-mouth m.  It's not elegantly constructed at all!

I should write a letter to Rodger Goodell, and suggest he change the word to something with better mouthflow.  I'm sure he'll appreciate the suggestion.

And speaking of things that trip off the tongue, here's some first sentence reviews!  Check them out, below the break.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 23rd

It's MEA week!  That magical time of year when teachers and school workers alike across the state get a four-day weekend to go up to the cities and visit their sister attend the massive teacher's convention which is totally what I'm going to do, uh-huh, absolutely.  Don't get me wrong, I do go sometimes, but... eh, not this year.  I'm going to have some fun instead.

You know what else would be fun?  Looking at some first sentences, and seeing what we can learn from them!  Head down below the break for my thoughts on how some of those Fandom Classics I keep reviewing handle their intros.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 22nd

I can't remember if I've done this before, but over the weekend I had a thought; what if I looked at some first sentences from a blind sample of fanfics I haven't actually read, instead of evaluating stories I've already read and reviewed?  So I started from the top of the "recently published" list on FiMFic's front page, and worked my way down it until I got tired of this exercise.  Well, more or less; I left the mature filter off, but I skipped over the clopfics.  I suppose first sentences matter for them too, but I've just got no interest in *glances at stories list* Fall of Equestria and maybe diapers?  Though thankfully, no Fall of Equestria with diapers.

So head on down below the break, to see what I found when I ventured into the world of effectively-randomly-selected fanfiction!

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 21st

Hope you're all enjoying some cycling goodness!  It's Tour de France season, and I'll probably (definitely) update you if Voeckler does anything exciting in this, his final Grand Tour.  Sadly, I'm pretty sure Mystic was the only other person in my circle of ever-so-marginal influence who cared one bit about pro cycling, but you all are just going to have to suffer my sports interests anyway.  Mwa-ha-ha!

Or, you know, you could skip this blurby bit on my posts.  But why would you want to do that?  In any case, I'm done blurbing at you now.  Head down below the break for my thoughts on some first sentences from past Fandom Classics!

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 20th

Have I really not done one of these posts since February?  Jeez, time sure gets away from ya sometimes.  Welp, let's dive in and correct the record, so to speak!

This time, I thought that instead of looking at stories I've reviewed, I'd tackle the stories which FiMFic has listed as "Top - All-time," as of a bit earlier this week (for those of you who don't keep up with FiMFic algorithms, the list is subject to significant turnover; one downvote can easily knock most stories' ranks down a few hundred places, and being on the list in the first place is a good way to attract downvotes).  So, let's see how the top stories on FiMFic hold up, when all you look at is their first line!

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 19th

I've been out of town the last weekend, so I'm typing up the above-the-break blurb in advance, rather than the day before like I usually do.  So, if any major news broke in the last couple of days, just imagine my reaction to it up here, all right?  I'll confirm your suspicions when I get back.

But for now, let's talk about fic openings!  Get 'em below the break.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 18th

You know what's a great feeling?  When you log onto FiMFic, see a bunch of notifications, and when you go through them, discover that someone spent the better part of four hours favoriting your stuff.  I mean, it's just nice to get new favorites period, but the spacing--every favorite separated by 10-30 minutes--tells you that this person read a story of yours, liked it so much that they dove straight into another, then another, and so on, for an entire afternoon.  It's putting a smile on my lips all over again just typing this.

But you can't get a person to binge-read your oeuvre if you can't get them to read your second paragraph.  In that spirit, let's do another installment of our looks at first sentences!  My thoughts, below.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 17th

GUESS WHO GOT HOME TODAY TO FIND A RAPIDLY GROWING POOL OF STANDING WATER IN THE BASEMENT?

Spoiler alert: it was me.  Frozen pipes suck, especially when they freeze while you're at work.  Luckily, it takes more than a plumbing emergency to stop the OMPR-ing!  Head down below the break to see my thoughts on some first sentences.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 16th

Good lines from mini-reviews edition!  Usually, I take First Sentences posts from semi-recent Fandom Classics, and mix good, bad, and "fine" firsts together without much concern.  Today, we're doing something different: I'm going back through some of the more recent mini-reviews, and highlighting some first sentences that I thought were particularly effective, for several very different reasons.  As such, there's also a different format today: rather than a rating, I'll give the line, and some thoughts on what makes it effective.  Click down below the break for some firsts!

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 15th

I didn't see any pony costumes for Halloween this year :(  I kind of assumed I would, not that I'm at an elementary school, but the closest I got was a generic unicorn.  Ah well, seeing a FiM costume may have always made me smile in previous Halloweens, but it hardly ruins my day not to see one.

But now, on to first sentences!  Some story starters and what I think of them, below.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 13th

Recently, I decided--for no particular reason--that I ought to familiarize myself with the SCP Foundation--find out what it is, beyond "pseudo-creepypasta wiki."  Having done so, I have to wonder what the appeal is.

Don't get me wrong, I get the appeal of the shared universe and creatures/phenomena that define it, but what I don't get is the interest in the Foundation organization itself.  The entire setting is full of vastly more appealing groups.  There are deranged cultist organizations trying to bring about the end of the world, amoral (probably British) "procurers" who turn a hefty profit moving paranormal things through the underworld, evil clowns... you name it, there's a group that has a more interesting approach to these things than the Foundation's.  Heck, it's not even like the Foundation are the good guys to everyone else's villains (as best I can tell, the "good guys" are the UN-backed Global Occult Coalition, who have "ensure the survival of the human race," as their top priority)--this is a group that whose MO is "here's something incredibly dangerous, let's get some shmuck to poke it with a stick for us on penalty of death and see what happens, and if it doesn't kill him, we'll murder him at the end of the month anyway" (supposedly, those "D-class personnel" are all convicted murders off death row, but considering that 1) the Foundation seems to go through anywhere from a few score to a few hundred every month, and 2) pretty much all of them seem to be Westerners, I figure that's just a PR line).  I mean, it's not like there's nowhere to go with that, as the 2000+ entries plus various associated stories would attest, but... well, my point is that the Foundation strike me as assholes, and not even the exciting kind of assholes.  If I was one of those writers, I'd have more fun writing about the GOC trying to save humanity, or the Serpent's Hand trying to awaken some elder god, than about the Foundation.

That's just my opinion, though.  But hey, you're here for my opinion, right?  If so, good, because I've got a whole bunch more of 'em--this time, relating to ponyfic, and first sentences therefrom--below the break!

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 12th

Thursday saw something new to me: school being canceled on account of heat.  Is this something that happens regularly in warmer climes?  Or is this as weird as I think it is?  Granted, it's hot and humid enough that my glasses fogged up when I took the trash out, and I don't exactly blast the AC, so maybe the school district knows what it's doing.  Anyway, here are my thoughts on some first sentences!  Check them out, below the break.

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 11th

A while back, I asked if anyone wanted to recommend a few fanfics which they'd like to see me look at the first sentences of.  I got a few suggestions... but mostly what I got was "you should write up some of your own first sentences."

I was inclined to dismiss these at first, as it all felt a bit too self-indulgent for me.  But I think there is some value in looking at one's own writing, and apparently, a goodly number of you agree!  I didn't do every fic of mine--it turns out a good chunk of my fanfics start with some variation on "once upon a time," which probably doesn't need a lot of examination--but click below the break to see my thoughts on some of my stories.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 10th

In a lot of ways, I don't think Gauntlet of Fire was a very good episode.  Twilight and Rarity were entirely superfluous as characters in the second half, Ember's big realization happened off-screen and without obvious impetus (rather than, say, realizing that she's getting farther by working with Spike and seeing that friendship isn't a weakness), the beats of this episode are basically the same as every other "minor antagonist thinks friendship is stupid, eventually changes mind" episode to date, and Carrot Top doesn't even get a cameo actually, I think she was probably just as happy to sit this episode out; the dragon-lands are no place for a produce farmer, what with the rocky, dirt-poor soil, the absence of nearby agricultural infrastructure, and the presence of a whole bunch of pony-hating dragons.  But for all that, I still really enjoyed the episode; I thought Ember's VA was excellent, the (previous) Dragon Lord was hilarious (between him, the Yaks, and Maud, I think it's becoming clear that I'm just fine with one-dimensional characters... as long as they're funny), and I love how he clearly set the challenge up for his daughter to win (despite his "strongest blah blah" lines, it's all agility and problem-solving... Ember's alleged forte), then forbids her to compete despite knowing full well she's going to go behind his back, so that her victory isn't tainted by hints of nepotism.  Clever devil!

But now, let's move on to some first-sentence reviews.  Check them out, below the break!

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 9th

In the past couple of weeks, I've gotten a pair of recommendations on what fanfics' first sentences I should comment on, next time I do one of these posts.  This reminded me that I haven't done a First Sentences post since 2015 (time flies!), but it also made me think that a post of recommended first sentences would be nice to do.  So with that in mind: today's going to be a set culled from the recent-ish Fandom Classics, but in the near future I'll be doing a set composed entirely of recommended fics.  If you want to recommend one, either leave a comment here, PM me on FiMFiction, or shoot me an e-mail.

Goodness, I feel so... accessable.  Anyway, head below the break for today's installment of first-sentence-ing!

First Sentences in (Fan)Fiction the 8th

So, Hoofields and McColts was a pretty good episode.  Silly, earnestly sincere, and with plenty of low-key visual humor (e.g. the animals' different-sized books in the intro, Fluttershy "gently encouraging" the tortoise to get to shelter during the hay bale bombardment, etc.), it had a nice blend of all the things I like in an episode.

And yet, I'm dissatisfied.  Why?  Because for the second time this year, carrots were a crucial component of one or more scenes, and Carrot Top wasn't there.  Come on, MLP animators: you've got a pony whose cutie mark is carrots, and yet, when the subject turns to everyone's favorite source of vitamin A, she's nowhere to be found?  She's even got the right coloration to be a Hoofield!  Hopefully on her mother's side, though; "Carrot Hoofield" would be a pretty terrible name, and "Golden Hoofield" is downright abominable.

But enough about my idiosyncratic desire for more appearances by thematically appropriate background ponies!  Click on down below the break for my idiosyncratic thoughts on the first sentences of stories I've recently read.

First Sentences In (Fan)Fiction the 7th

The mini-hiatus is over, but I must admit that Canterlot Boutique didn't do much for me.  It certainly wasn't a bad episode, but I couldn't make much of the message behind it.  Or the economics; how is Rarity planning to support both the Canterlot and Ponyville stores with only stuff she makes?  I've seen other people suggest she'll be able to support herself with a "unique designs only" policy based on the last part of the episode, but I don't buy it; her manager sold 100 Princess Dresses at full price in less time than it took Rarity to unload five original designs, and those five were all at sale prices to boot.  Seems to me that Canterlot Boutique isn't long for this world, unless Rarity either learns to embrace mass production and a designer role for herself in her fledgling empire, or closes down the Ponyville branch to focus on supporting a single store.

Or maybe the Magic of Friendship will prove as effective at handling unsustainable business practices as it is at vanquishing unbeatable monsters.  Yeah, probably that one.  Anyway, click down below the break for my thoughts on the first sentences I've read recently!