To read the story, click the image or follow this link
You know, cleaning up spam comments is actually kind of fun, because they're always so positive. "Wow! This article was insightful and informative! The internet needs more dedicated people like you!" began one particularly glowing one, before dropping a link for "FREE V1agrR_a." Aw, spambot, you're too kind.
Below the break, my review of Wodashin's Hold the Line: Tales from Magic Kindergarten.
Impressions before reading: The description says this story's based on a WKUK (Whitest Kids You Know) piece of sketch comedy. My knowledge of sketch comedy pretty much starts and ends with Monty Python's Flying Circus, so I don't know exactly what I'm in for here. I think "over-the-top" is probably a pretty reasonable expectation, though.
Zero-ish spoiler summary: When Twilight is called upon to lead her kindergarten class to recess, she swears not to fail her charge. Silliness ensues.
Thoughts after reading: After reading this story, I did something I don't usually do: I went and watched the thing (a semi-improvised sketch, in this case) which the story was based on. The reason I did this was to confirm what I already knew: this story is just WKUK's "Line Sketch," in written form and with Twilight as the protagonist.
Here's my dilemma: the sketch itself is pretty funny. It's a classic example of dramatic incongruity, no less amusing for being tried and true. Other than a few minor writing hiccups (Wodashin has a tendency to mangle speaking verbs), the construction of the piece is solid; the writing is crisp despite maintaining a tone of dramatic grandiosity, never bogging down and letting the joke run overlong. The narration nicely mimicked the pompousness of the dialogue. In short, I enjoyed reading it.
But, but, but... is that enough? This is literally the "Line Sketch," with the dialogue quoted verbatim throughout. I've talked about stories being "pony enough" before, and this is a clear example of a story that fails that criteria by any conceivable count; replace the pony names with human ones, maybe change a few "hoof"s for "hand"s, and you would have a short-story version of the WKUK bit.
It's tempting to say that the addition of ponies is valid in and of itself, because it heightens the irony (chivalric militarism plus cute pastel ponies is a recipe for incongruity, as many fanfic authors have shown in the past), but I don't buy that argument. The sketch already applies this dynamic, using age instead of species (and cartoon-ness) as a means of creating that cognitive divide. The addition of ponies to the mix doesn't really add anything, and since that isn't incorporated into the story in any way, I'm left to ask: in what way is this a pony fanfic?
Star rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (what does this mean?)
Although a one-star from me doesn't necessarily (or even usually) mean that the story in question is unforgivably awful, it's generally a solid indication that I didn't particularly enjoy reading it. As it happens, I did like Hold the Line quite a bit. But the problem is that what I really like is the WKUK sketch. If you replaced the ponies with hobbits and Twi with baby Bilbo, I'd still have like it. If you replaced the ponies with fairy-tale monsters and Twi with lil' Dracula, I'd still have liked it. If you changed the ponies back to humans and made Twi and her opposite Obama and Romney (the early years), I'd still have liked it.
In the end, I don't see a pony fanfic here, or even a fanfic at all; all I see is a literal retelling. It's a competently written one, to be sure. But that's all it is.
Recommendation: If you want to see some funny sketch comedy, check out the sketch (here's the link)--it's quite good for what it is. If you like it so much that you want to experience it again in a written form, read Hold the Line.
Next time: Substitute Harmony, by blayzekohime
I have read your review, Chris. And now I take upon myself the mantle of responsibility as the first commenter to say that I, being no more than a mere mortal, who's powers are no greater than any other commenter, ally my opinions with you!
ReplyDeleteThough fate may not always have us seeing eye to eye; though we may someday, as is wont of the hubris of man, attempt to cast each other down into that fiery pit of contention — that day is not now! On this day we stand united, as brothers in fanfiction, bound by a bond forged in the lukewarm fires of mutually thinking that the WKUK sketch is pretty okay!
Let the truth sound forth! Let the sun dawn on a world not rife with anger or hostility, but rife with joy! Joy and peace in the name of a story that's not anything too impressive, but also isn't all that bad, either. We shall live and die by this creed! All my brothers and sisters who agree, rise up and be heard! Shout with me!
KING OF THE NORTH!
KING OF THE NORTH!
KING OF THE NORTH!
We choose to read fanfiction. We choose to read fanfiction in this year not because it's easy, but because it's hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to complete.
Delete(This type of stuff is very stupid, but can be worthy a chuckle or two, kinda like Mad Libs. Certainly nothing I would publish, and definitely unwhorthy of getting 6 stars.)
I too raise my sword to swear allegiance to this brotherhood of the WKUK sketch, and I shall stand by your sides, my fellow kinsmen, as our ancestors did before us, united in their opinions of the comedy sketches of old, in the times before the kingdom of the internet.
DeleteKING OF THE NORTH!
I liked this one. And then I discovered it was ripped wholesale from a sketch, and immediately grew to hate it. The sketch is funny, but the author should have just taken the idea and worked it into a fully original piece. As it stands, this does not deserve six stars in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why people write stuff like this. I for one would be absolutely bored out of my skull copying someone else's story so exactly. And what do you get out of it? Fleeting internet fame isn't really worth anything.
ReplyDeleteSo, uh, it's a case of blatant plagiarism then, isn't it? Shouldn't something be done about that now?
ReplyDeleteFanfiction in general isn't exactly compatible with copyright laws, so I fail to see how this is any worse. It's more obvious, perhaps, but that's not the sole measuring stick for violations of this kind.
DeleteThere's a huge difference between writing a story with characters and settings that other people have invented and between taking something someone else has written, copying it line-by-line and proclaiming it's a new story.
DeleteIt's not just an issue of intellectual property at that point, but taking credit for someone else's work.
Sessalisk hits it on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper!
DeleteWow, this review was insightful and informative! The fandom needs more dedicated bronies like you
ReplyDeleteFREE H4yagrR_a
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ReplyDeleteI also watched the sketch just now and found it to be pretty okay.
ReplyDeleteOoh, Substitute Harmony is next. That is one I actually read through. I have a very small bit of personal involvement with that one.
Seeing this comment reminded me that I was going to say something on YouTube but forgot.
DeleteI just started listening to the latest episode of Reading Rainboom. Your voice is amazing and I hope they have you on more frequently. :D Assuming you're the same DeftFunk, of course.
Oh hey, thanks! I am the same DeftFunk.
DeleteBad news though. Reading Rainboom sucks (in my opinion). That story I read? Sucks (in my opinion). Hated it. Didn't want it to go on air. It's full of grammar errors. There's an incomplete sentence in it. The author recognizes this by the way, it's in his author's note. What's the story even about? A whole lotta nothing that's what!
I weaseled my way into that production in order to get it to not suck (In my opinion). A gradual process. However, I was too little too late. The whole thing is getting rebooted (not because it sucked, but for a different reason entirely. I just wanted to rant.) And I am no longer on it.
Aw, dang. Well, hit me at your channel, assuming you do fanfic readings there, and you will no doubt see lots of comments pop up on old videos. :B
DeleteAlso, to be perfectly honest, your reading was the only thing I liked about that story. It was purple as hell, made worse by the fact that it was Dash's POV and she does not talk like that, and I agree that it was about nothing. I mean, technically, the conflict was pony vs. herself, but nothing came of it. If not for introducing me to your highly awesome self, it would have been a complete waste of time. The second story on that episode was pretty good, though.
Indeed indeed. Not to slander the author or anything, because I'm sure he can write cool stories. He writes a lot and that's good. More power to him. But that story, murglbluglr.
DeleteAnd yeah, Cheerilee is no Fun was much better, despite a touch of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. That girl who did Diamond Tiara though, That mic's just not cuttin' it. I'm sure she can do a fabulous Diamond Tiara, but that mic. I mean there's no need to be perfectionists about it, but there's a limit. On the opposite end of the spectrum, that Sweetie Belle, FRIGGEN PERFECT!
I'm too easily distracted. My YouTube Channel is "DeftFunk." Indeed, I have done three fan fiction readings there so far. It's not something I do often, but you may see more pop up once in a blue moon.
Some of the RR VAs are amazing. Some are amazing, but I wish I could buy better microphones for.
DeleteI've put you into my queue. :3 I listen to lots of fanfic, after all.